Twoology https://twoology.com Tue, 02 Jun 2020 11:45:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.2 5 Quality Standards for A Healthy Dating Relationship https://twoology.com/what-are-good-relationship-standards-for-couple-top-5/ https://twoology.com/what-are-good-relationship-standards-for-couple-top-5/#comments Tue, 02 Jun 2020 03:38:33 +0000 https://twoology.com/?p=30 You’re finally dating someone! That’s great! It doesn’t matter if this is your first or your nth date. What matters is you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.

But how can you tell if you deserve the person you’re dating? What are good relationship standards should a couple make?

According to dating coach Charlie Nox, “…when it comes to what they [client] want, what their heart really aches for and longs for, their deepest juiciest desires, most people just don’t know.

It’s not because you haven’t set any standards but it’s because you aren’t sure what you want exactly. This is why we decided to consult with relationship and marriage counselors to round up 5 quality standards of a healthy dating relationship that every dating couple should have.

Best Minimum Dating Standards for A Healthy Relationship

Everyone wants a healthy relationship with their loved one. But more often than not, most dating couples miss the idea that a healthy relationship is always composed of 5 pillars or usually observes these top 5 bare minimum dating standards:

Respect

Having respect is the most important pillar in a healthy relationship and it sets a connection between 2 individuals. 

Trust

Having trust in the person you’re dating with gives you a sense of safety and comfort. Couples that rely on each other to look out and look after each other has the potential to build a strong foundation for a long-lasting relationship.  

Communication

Every type of relationship, regardless if it’s romantic or not, must be open to communicate to work. Couples should learn how to speak openly from their heart to achieve genuine happiness and stability.

Love

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Love is the binding material of every healthy relationship, a product of a healthy relationship that practices respect, trust, and communication.

Intimacy

Intimacy is the secret ingredient to a long-lasting relationship. It doesn’t have to always be through physical contact but acts and thoughts as well.

Recommendations for Healthy Relationship Standards

The presence of the 5 pillars in a relationship signifies that a relationship has the potential to be a healthy, long-lasting one. But it doesn’t just end there because people who are genuinely in love usually go the extra mile.

According to Laura Braziel, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, “…the secret to lasting love is YOU, not the other person. Relationships have the potential to strengthen with time and experience if you are willing to grow.”

But what are good relationship standards?

Understanding of What’s Ahead

A healthy relationship is an up and down roller coaster ride and understanding that a healthy relationship isn’t just about smiles is very important. When you’ve put all your hopes into a dating relationship, it’s easy to forget about yourself.

Remember that love is an ebb and flow, and it can take some time to truly get to know the person you’re dating unless you’re setting standards you’ll strictly follow.

All relationships will undergo trials multiple times. But these trials are a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. If you don’t understand or like something your partner has done, take a moment to ask them about it and why they did it.

Most of the time, those who are hurt will put up defenses right away and perceive the action as a hostile move. But there are always two sides to a story, and hearing both sides before making any accusations usually keeps any issues from ever going out of hand.

dating, dating standards, healthy relationship, what are good relationship standards

Taking a step back from time to time to observe your partner, rather than jumping to conclusions right away, is an effective way to really know the person you’re dating.

While it’s true that early dating couples tend to feel a rushing feeling, it’s not permanent. More often than not, knowledge over emotions when dating is usually the smarter move to understand your date better.

Respect Each Other’s Boundaries and Privacies

There are plenty of misconceptions about boundaries in a relationship. And more often than not, people in a relationship think these unnecessary things, thinking that partners should already know and act with these in mind, or else the relationship will be in grave danger.

But boundaries are actually what keeps the relationship afloat. You see, boundaries are healthy in a dating relationship as these allow both partners to feel comfortable and develop positive self-esteem.

To put up healthy boundaries in a dating relationship, partners have to be very vocal about what they want, what they believe in, what they value, and what their limits are. It may sound counterintuitive but it’s a way for individuals in a relationship to be their genuine self.

dating, dating standards, healthy relationship, what are good relationship standards

Setting boundaries that represent you and what you want to be will help the relationship in the long run. But always remember that no matter how big or small the boundary, it’s important that this is recognized and respected.

To effectively establish boundaries with your dating partner, you have to communicate your thoughts with one another. Just be honest but respectful when sharing your thoughts after you’ve gathered enough thoughts and feelings to talk about it.

Always ask how your partner would feel about things and never assume their feelings. People in a dating relationship usually assume and misunderstand feelings but a healthy one always acknowledges the other person as a sign of respect.

When boundaries are set, both should follow through their set boundaries. There shouldn’t be any exceptions to your boundaries without careful consideration as this may turn on you at some point.

You will Have to Compromise at Some Point

People date to find their Mr. or Ms. Right. While it’s true that this someone may “complete you”. There will be times when we or they must have to compromise. But how much compromise is too much? Moreover, when should you compromise to attain a healthy dating relationship?

Turning down the volume of the TV while the other is on the phone is a good example of small compromises, but enough to smoothen rough edges of the relationship. The idea of affirming each partner’s needs and meeting or providing their demands is the core relationship requirements for a healthy dating relationship.

But there will be times– or things, that will tip the relationship over when it’s not provided or fulfilled by the partner. For example, emotional and physical intimacy are two of the most important things that need to be fulfilled equally.

If one disagrees to see the value of these two things in a healthy relationship, then it may lead to disagreement later. But there are certain cases when it’s totally fine to say no to compromise but you’ll have to ask the following questions to figure out if the compromise is a healthy one:

How will the compromise make you feel?

You can tell if the compromise is healthy by reflecting on how you feel deep inside. If this makes you feel more your true self than less, then it’s going to be a healthy compromise.

Will both benefit from the compromise?

Remember that a healthy dating relationship is about two individuals coming together to help each other become the best version of themselves. Needless to say, a healthy compromise is also one that benefits both, not just one.

Don’t Run from Trust Issues, Face It!

Trust is the binding medium for the deepest love. It’s an essential part of a healthy dating relationship. Without trust, fear rules, and this is not what you want in a relationship.

With that in mind, it’s easy to understand how one builds up a wall of defense within a relationship when there are trust issues. Not to mention that building trust takes time– even years in most cases, but can be destroyed in an instant.

Worse, it’s even harder to trust someone again. This is because trust issues are based on real-life experiences that are heavy and burdensome steered by fear.

But when the person you trust fails you, should you run away from it? A healthy relationship is about building something together, and running away is no different than leaving a building unfinished and exposed.

For dating couples, dealing with trust issues can be hard, but is going to make the relationship stronger when dealt with correctly.

dating, dating standards, healthy relationship, what are good relationship standards

The first step to resolving trust issues is to recognize that there is an issue. Honest admission is the first foundation to re-establish trust in your partner. Going through these feels like walking on glass and it takes more courage.

Communicate with your partner and be honest with how you felt about the situation and how you feel about the relationship. At this point, you can then talk about what you can do together to address the trust issues and find a way to put it all behind so you can move forward. Acknowledging these steps as a team will help the relationship grow stronger together.

Nurture Your Relationship by Communicating Regularly

According to Seneca the Younger, “The great thing is to know when to speak and when to keep quiet”.

Communication is probably the most important thing in every type of relationship, not just romantic ones, as this is the only way to resolve any type of conflict.

It’s through communication that dating relationships grow. And by setting some time to talk to each other regularly, miscommunication is almost always avoided.

dating, dating standards, healthy relationship, what are good relationship standards

But how can we tell if the communication is good and how do couples do it right?

Communicating regularly allows dating relationships to grow and know more about themselves. But you have to be mindful of your communication methods and styles.

In order for couples to meet a common ground, dating partners should find a communication method that best suits the relationship. This will take some time to find the right method for your relationship but can be achieved sooner by communicating regularly.

Here are tips on how to communicate effectively in a dating relationship:

  • Set a time to talk without any interruption
  • Plan the things you want to say
  • Talk about the situation and how this affects you and the relationship
  • Listen to your partner as they do the same
  • Mind the tone of your voice
  • Come up with a solution to move forward together

It’s hard to open up and talk about misunderstandings but this is the only way couples will be able to get through misunderstandings.

Conclusion

Remember that a healthy dating relationship is based on the 5 pillars of respect, trust, communication, love, and intimacy.

But in order for a dating relationship to last long, partners should learn how to face and address trust issues, understand what’s ahead of the relationship, respect, compromise, and learn how to nurture the relationship by regularly communicating with each other.

Read more:

Exactly How Long Should You Date Before Becoming Official?

Top 3 Best Cities for Interracial Dating and Interracial Couples in 2020

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Exactly How Long Should You Date Before Becoming Official? https://twoology.com/how-long-should-you-date-before-becoming-official/ https://twoology.com/how-long-should-you-date-before-becoming-official/#comments Tue, 26 May 2020 04:25:29 +0000 https://twoology.com/?p=19 Best Time for Becoming Official After Dating

So, you’re well into your, what– 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date now, and you want to make it official at this point. It’s just that you’re not sure if it’s the right time to bring “that” conversation up.

The beginnings of every relationship are fun, fantastic, flirty, and zesty. But it can also be awkward, confusing, and thrilling, especially if you don’t know where you guys are heading after a few dates in.

Being in an exclusive relationship is an exciting time for singles. So, how long should you date before becoming official? How long is normal to date before turning exclusive?

According to Dr. Racine Henry, a licensed marriage and family therapist, “It’s not like all of a sudden it’s date seven or three months have passed and that’s the time to figure it all out”.

This article covers all the signs you need on how long should you date someone before making it official (without being awkward).

Are You Emotionally and Mentally Prepared to be in an Exclusive Relationship?

You’re dating. So what? Dating doesn’t always mean you’re ready to be in a relationship. Plus, people go out on a date for several reasons.

Others just want to have a good laugh and meet new people to expand their social circle. Meanwhile, others go on dates because they are sexually attracted to the opposite sex and would like to (hopefully) get some action going. And the latter is not always the case for a long-lasting relationship.

dating, becoming official, official relationship, become exclusive, how long should you date before becoming official

You see, being in a serious relationship with someone isn’t all about giving. Relationships– specifically, long-term ones, is all about recognizing and learning how to value everything (including you) that’s a part of the relationship.

An emotionally and mentally prepared person can easily make decisions to strengthen partnership, intimacy, and a love that lasts. But a relationship with 2 people who are ready emotionally and mentally will add up to a romance. This romance will genuinely last as it passively feeds off a positive energy that strengthens both parties individually and collectively.

This is why being emotionally and mentally prepared matters if you’re looking to build a long-lasting relationship. 

But how can you tell you’re ready? How long do you date before being in a relationship?

When you start to realize that change or difference does not mean worse, you’re mentally prepared to make it official. People often call the relationship between 2 organisms a symbiotic one, and by nature, it must change.

Individuals usually see problems in a relationship as a sign that something unhealthy is going on. But in reality, problems are part of a relationship that need to be taken as a challenge to build a stronger one.

You learn to respect and accept your differences. Falling in love doesn’t mean you don’t feel angry, disappointed, or offended. All these are normal feelings that must be relayed and understood. And if you see emotions as pieces that play a vital role in a relationship, you’re well on your way to being mentally and emotionally prepared.

Can You See Your Future with the Person You’re Dating?

It’s unlikely to be able to see yourselves together a few years into the future when you guys are just starting. But if you’ve recently thought about your future with the person you’re dating with, you’re more likely ready to make your relationship official.

dating, becoming official, official relationship, become exclusive, how long should you date before becoming official

The thought of including a person in your (future) plans is an indicator that you’re being serious about building a relationship with them. Eileen Fisher even told INSIDER that “if you choose to see where things go– even if it’s someone you never thought could be ‘the one’, you’re likely ready for a relationship.

It’s fine if you had way too much fun on your first date that you’re looking forward to having seconds. That’s normal. But that doesn’t mean you’re thinking of building a future with them. Well at least not yet.

Look at the things you had in common, your hobbies, and both of your interests. Ideally, you’d want to think about what your jobs will be in the next 5, 10 or so years. Or maybe what kind of businesses you’ll both be starting together.

Have you asked yourself the guarantees of you guys achieving all of your dreams together? Are you compatible with each other based on these things?

Envisioning your future together with the person you’re dating is an important thing that determines whether or not you’re ready to take it to the next level. And if you’ve thought of these things and have all the answers you need, then you are ready to become exclusive with the person you’re dating with.

Can You Confirm that Both of You Are Compatible with Each Other?

Have you ever seen couples well into their 10th anniversary as couples but only met and dated a few days? What about couples who broke up the following day after they decided to make it official?

Knowing the person you’re dating with is one thing but to know whether or not you’re compatible with each other is another. It’s all about the chemistry that makes you comfortable with each other.

In some cases, people would realize they’re compatible with each other after a few days since first dated while it would take months for some to realize they’re compatible with each other after all. Finding out you’re perfectly compatible with each other on the first date is not too far-fetched, although it rarely happens.

Regardless, the idea is not to be hasty when you’re first dating. Enjoy the process of knowing the person and take all the time you feel needed before making any commitments. It’s a process that makes you understand and see if the person you’re dating attracts you.

dating, becoming official, official relationship, become exclusive, how long should you date before becoming official

When you’re comfortable enough with each other, then it might be the right time to bring up the DTR conversation. But fair warning before you do so, you must have a strong feeling that they’re more or less on the same page as you. Otherwise, this will turn out to be an awkward situation that you’ll likely lose the person forever.

There may be no exact amount of time, but waiting anywhere from one to three months before bringing the DTR conversation is the sweet spot for most dating couples to determine whether or not you’re ready for exclusivity.

But remember that in some cases, bringing up the DTR conversation can be as early as you feel like it so long as you’re both comfortable bringing it up into the conversation.

Treated as A Significant Other

Look more closely at how the person treats you. Instead of pondering how many dates it has already been, doing a quick check at how you’re being treated (so far) may be the answer to your question.

Are you guys constantly texting throughout the day, sharing dumb and nonsense things just to keep the conversation going? Have you ever considered “hinting” your thoughts and feelings with one another?

More specifically, are you guys unofficially acting as couples for all intents and purposes and have dated more than you should have as friends? If the answer to these is yes, then you’ve reached the point where you’re likely ready to make your relationship official.

Most people would refer to the number of days, weeks, or number of dates you’ve had as an indicator to safely bring out the DTR conversation. But in reality, there is no “perfect time” to ask because more often than not, “you just know” you guys are ready for the conversation.

dating, becoming official, official relationship, become exclusive, how long should you date before becoming official

But this still can’t be considered the norm because most people, even though they “just know” they’re ready to talk about it, will understandably want a little reassurance to avoid the “awkward” situation.

And this is most especially true for someone who had bad past relationships or other priorities in life outside of dating. In some cases, this could well be the main reason for the delay. It’s perfectly normal if you/they want to hold off the conversation for a while.

But if it gets to a point where you think you’re just being taken for a ride (hopefully not), you should just talk to them and know the truth early. It’s better than knowing later that they’re just making lame excuses while seeing other people at the same time.

Recommendations Before Final Decision

So, how many dates before relationship?

To sum up, there is no “perfect time” to determine if you’re ready to make your relationship official. But some things will help you identify if it’s safe to bring the DTR conversation into the picture, such as:

  • Being emotionally and mentally prepared to be in an exclusive relationship
  • Can see your future with the person you’re dating
  • Can confirm that both of you are compatible with each other
  • Treated as a significant other

If these conditions are met, then it might be time to bring up the DTR conversation. Remember, no two relationships are the same and each person is different. It all boils down to how both of you feel for each other to “know” if it’s the right time to bring that conversation up.

Read more:

Top 3 Best Cities for Interracial Dating and Interracial Couples in 2020

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Top 3 Best Cities for Interracial Dating in 2020 https://twoology.com/top-3-best-cities-for-interracial-dating-2020/ https://twoology.com/top-3-best-cities-for-interracial-dating-2020/#comments Mon, 25 May 2020 04:03:47 +0000 https://twoology.com/?p=12 Best Cities for Interracial Dating

Interracial dating has become more popular now and seeing interracial couples is becoming the norm in today’s society. Unlike how it was decades ago, people now are unlikely to get upset or offended by seeing mixed-race couples together.

It’s becoming accepted by most people nowadays that Americans are much more open to the idea of a close relative marrying someone of a different race. Moreover, states such as Hawaii, Nevada, California, North Carolina, and Florida are among the states with the highest rate of interracial marriages in the U.S. as of 2015.

However, there still are cities that don’t accept this kind of setup as openly as other cities have. That’s why we rounded up the top 3 best cities to help interracial dating couples find the best places to live a peaceful relationship.

How Popular is Interracial Dating?

Mixed-race dating or interracial dating nowadays is very common. So much so that the rate of interracial marriages in America have increased 5 times over from 3% in all weddings since it was decriminalized in 1967 to 17% in 2015, according to PEW RESEARCH CENTER.

best cities for interracial dating, interracial dating, mixed race couple, dating, intermarriage
A rise in intermarriage in the U.S.
(Source: PEW RESEARCH CENTER)

Moreover, the U.S. Census also mentioned that the percentage of interracial married-couple households in the U.S. grew from 7.4% to 10.2% from 2000 to 2010-2016.

In total, there are 7 types of interracial married-couple combinations in total that make up 95.1% of interracial marriages in the United States.

Interracial Dating Around the World

We’ve come a long way since Loving V. Virginia. And since we have the internet at our disposal, it’s easy to find someone online and start a relationship with them.

Dating apps such as Tinder matches users to others around the world. You can search for someone by narrowing down the age, location, physical appearance preference, and even sexual preference.

But how does the rest of the world see interracial dating? Which country is more accepting? Let’s talk about some of the most interesting interracial dating statistics.

Interracial Dating in Asia

The idea of interracial relationships in Asia is not new. It dates back to the 17th century (even earlier in some areas). Foreign traders usually end up marrying locals in different parts of Asia at the time.

Fast forward to today, how accepting are Asian people towards interracial relationships and marriage?

Religion and customs keep Asian men and women from having a relationship with foreigners as it forbids interracial marriages. But globalization got the best in countries like the Philippines, Singapore, Malaysia, and Vietnam. There’s now a rising trend of Asian women marrying male foreigners.

Unlike in the United States, Europe, and Australia, people are likely to bat an eyelid when they see mixed-race couples. But in metropolitan cities like Manila, Bangkok, Taipei, Ho Chi Minh, Hanoi, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, and Kuala Lumpur, interracial couples don’t get as much attention as they would in other remote parts in Asia.

Interracial Dating in Europe

In a 2010 The Economist chart by G. Lanzieri for Europe, it was found that among the European countries with a major colonial history. France has the highest rate (13%) of mixed-origin marriages compared to the Netherlands (9%), UK (8.5%), Portugal (7.5%), and Spain (6.5%).

Today, larger cities in Europe like London, Portugal, Hungary, Sweden, Denmark, among others is a safe place for dating interracial couples. Well, mostly. Not every inch will guarantee and accept couples wholeheartedly as personal preference still plays a role. But more often than not, seeing couples of different skin colors here is normal.

Similarly, Paris is a city where you’ll find an abundance of mixed-race couples and people with mixed race. Races range greatly from West Indies to Africa and Asia. So if you’re looking for a place in Europe to stay as dating interracial couple, you won’t get as many irritating looks here than you would in some parts.

Interracial Dating in Australia

For years, Australia has been a multicultural country that marriage or partnering outside of one’s ethnic group is considered normal.

Proofs of interracial relationships and marriages even started as early as the ’70s. At the time, the main birthplace groups that contributed to the overall number of mixed marriages were the UK, Ireland, and New Zealand. There have been close ties between the UK and Ireland (later New Zealand) that mixed marriages from these groups constituted 25% of all marriages in 1974.

In the late ‘70s to late ‘80s, marriages of brides born in the Philippines to long-time Aussies rose very sharply, peaked in 1986, and have since remained high.

With a history of interracial relationships this long, it’s safe to say most cities in Australia will accept interracial relationships. Specifically, metro places like Sydney and Melbourne are the safest choice for interracial couples looking for a place to visit or live in Australia.

Interracial Dating in America

America may be regarded, overall, as the country with the highest rate of interracial relationships and marriages worldwide. But unlike most of the countries mentioned above, you’ll get more irritating looks in specific places from time to time.

To give you a perspective, as of 2017, 7% of men and 12% of women in the U.S. see interracial relationships as a bad thing. Fortunately, there are cities here that are as accepting as Paris.

In Canada, Vancouver and Toronto turned out to be the 2 most accepting cities of interracial couples according to a crowdsourced view conducted by AsianBlackCouples.com. Following these are metro areas such as Honolulu (HI), Los Angeles (CA), New York City (NY), and Las Vegas (NV).

These places were clear standouts in a crowdsourcing survey that you must include in your list if you’re looking for a peace of mind with your interracial partner and your future offspring.

What is the Most Accepting Country?

In 2016, it was found that the vast majority [91%] of Spanish strongly approve of intermarriage between different races/ethnic groups. Meanwhile, 43% of Russians strongly disapprove of interracial marriage and relationships.

Following Spain is the United Kingdom, where 86% of people strongly approve the idea of intermarriage between different races/ethnic groups.

best cities for interracial dating, interracial dating, mixed race couple, dating, intermarriage
The views on intermarriage between different races/ethnic groups by country.
(Source: GlobeScan poll for the BBC)

Germans were found to have the least people [34%] to strongly approve of the idea of intermarriage and also have the highest people who aren’t sure whether or not they would agree to this statement.

On the other hand, France has the least number of people who are unsure about which side to take but the general population strongly [79%] and somewhat approves intermarriage between different ethnic groups/races.

Most Popular Cities for Interracial Dating in Spain

Spain is one of the most visited countries on earth. Therefore, chances of finding couples from all over the world from different races/ethnicities are normal.

But if you’re looking for the best cities to enjoy your travel or visit as interracial couples, then cities like Madrid, Barcelona, or Valencia should be at the top of your list. These cities are among the most popular cities for travelers, foreigners, and interracial couples alike.

The capital city, Madrid, holds plenty of beautiful gardens and parks great for couples to visit. Finding entertainment in Madrid is also something that has to be highlighted. If you or your partner loves concerts and theatre shows, there’s no place like Madrid. Food and the energetic nightlife is also something you should look forward to as an interracial couple.

Barcelona is a city that has a sea and has much more to offer, especially for visiting foreigners and mixed-race couples. It’s one of the most accepting cities in Spain that it’s unlikely for any foreigner (or interracial couples) to have problems building a new social circle.

It has to be noted that prices may not be as cheap as it were in any other place in the country. But compared to other European cities like in Paris and London, Madrid and Barcelona are way cheaper.

But if you’re looking for a more affordable option to maximize your travel as interracial couples, Valencia is the perfect option for you. It has undergone a massive progressive transformation in the last years that it’s become one of the most dynamic places in the country.

And unlike Madrid and Barcelona, the cost of living is relatively cheaper!

Conclusion

Older and nobility-concerned people probably are more likely to disapprove mixed-race dating couples and interracial marriage. But if you’re going to look at it, the views and opinions of other people don’t matter.

Because at the end of the day, you can live and enjoy reasonably with your partner. But still, living in a society or environment where you’re accepted and comfortable matters long-term. It is especially important if you’re planning to settle and build a family.

That’s why we’re hoping this article is helpful enough to lead you to the right place.

What do you think? We’d love to hear from you! Blessings to all interracial couples!

Read more:

Exactly How Long Should You Date Before Becoming Official?

5 Dating Standards of A Healthy Relationship

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