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Daniel Linder, MFT

Spouse keeps bringing up my affair

When the wounded spouse can’t bounce back and get both feet into the process of healing and moving on from this point forward, it’s common to recommend that person for individual therapy. It seems like most of the time in this kind of situation, something in the wounded spouse has been triggered, and some deeper longstanding pains, issues, and traumas that have occurred are being piled on top of the aftermath of the hurt and the pain from the affair. Those issues cannot get worked out in the context and confines of couple’s therapy. That needs to be addressed in individual therapy so the wounded person can begin to better understand themselves and know themselves and start putting some of their reactions where they belong.

Some of the pain, some of the anger, some of the fear, insecurity, mistrust and damage that had occurred, probably was there prior to the affair, and it all just came up and out when the affair occurred. In a lot of situations, it’s a tremendous opportunity for the wounded person to begin to get to know themselves in a way that they never did before, and to unearth things about themselves that they had suppressed or denied and never really dealt with. But better late than never. Now you have a better idea what to do when a spouse keeps bringing up my affair.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)

 

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