Allen Berger, Ph.D.
In this Twoology video, relationship expert, Allen Berger, Ph.D., offers tips for dealing with your feelings when you’re confronted with a situation where your spouse has betrayed you in some way, hurt you in some way, and refuses to show remorse. Sometimes partners disagree about whether they have done wrong and should seek outside relationship help in order to be able to effectively heal and strengthen your relationship.
What can I do about betrayal without remorse for hurting me? When you’re confronted with a situation where your spouse has betrayed you in some way, hurt you in some way, and there is no remorse from them, that puts you in quite a dilemma, doesn’t it? How can you forgive someone when there’s no remorse? And maybe you can’t. I mean maybe that’s the thing that you have to look at. If they aren’t remorseful about what they’ve done, you’ve got some serious questions to start asking yourself, some really important questions, because that means that’s probably what happens in many different ways in the relationship. That needs to become a serious issue that you look at. This is one of those cases where if that’s going on, that you need to get some help, and you guys need to talk to someone together.
Now, I’ve got one other thought about it. Now, they may disagree with you about what they’ve done. I’ve also seen situations where a partner says, “Look, you know, I think what you’ve done here was wrong, and you’ve hurt me.” And maybe your partner doesn’t have remorse, because they don’t agree with you. They don’t think that there’s been a violation or transgression there.
Now, keep that in mind, because I don’t to give you any black and white answers here, because it’s really about discovering the right way for you. But, if it’s clear that there’s been an indiscretion, like they’ve had an affair, and they don’t have any remorse about it, get some help.
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