John Curtis, Ph.D
Realistic expectations for a committed relationship
What are realistic expectations for a committed relationship? It’s a matter of sharing expectations to really put it simply. If you want to be disappointed, have a set of expectation you don’t know you have or your partner doesn’t know you have. Then, don’t communicate to the person, and just wait for them not to fulfill your expectations. Sound unproductive? It is. But, often times, that’s what couples do.
I talk a lot about cohabitating relationships, because over 60 percent of the couples that get married these days are cohabitating first, anyway. If you’re just dating but serious and certainly, if you’re going live together or get married, you need to talk about what you expect of each other. That would be the macro big picture. You know, 5, 10, 15, or 20 years down the road, what do you expect? It could be as basic as, what do you expect when it comes to chores around the house?
It’s vital talk to each other about expectations, so that there’s not a gap between what you want and what you actually get. That way, you’re not sitting there fuming and angry with somebody who’s not doing what you want them to do, even though they don’t know that you want them to do it. That’s a real kind of crazy situation. Yet, if you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship, you’re highly likely to meet and even exceed your great expectations.
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