Jennifer Johnston-Jones, Ph.D.
Marriage advice for newly married couples
What is the best marriage advice for newly married couples? Here’s the best advice I can give couples under 30 when they’re recently married. Grow together. What does this mean? It doesn’t necessarily mean doing all the — reading the same books and being the same person and doing the same things. That’s a mistake. Growing together means you are an individual. Your partner is an individual. You need to raise your awareness together in the world while being your own individuals. So it isn’t one plus one equals one. You aren’t turning into the same person.
What you need to do is one plus one equals three. You have yourself, you have your partner, and you have the marriage and yourself, together as a couple. Keep those things separate but constantly grow and progress. This might mean therapy. It might mean journaling. It might mean working on awareness, self awareness. However, if one person is doing it and the other is not, that is the number one reason for divorce in our society today, is when one person is growing psychologically and the other is not. It’s a red flag. If you see your partner, oh, I’m so excited. I’m learning all these things about my childhood. I’m learning about the world and I’m really passionate about this and I found my calling. And you just don’t — can’t even have a conversation about that, you need to amp it up. This is all essential marriage advice for newly married couples.
You need to go work on yourself because, you know what, she’s not going to be able to connect with you soon and that is the number one area of vulnerability for young couples as you continue to create your identity.
So grow together. Doesn’t mean you need to be the same person. Be individuals and honor individuality. However, improve yourself at the same time. Even though one person might be here and another person here continue to keep that balance and you’ll find that your relationship is all the better for it. So, if you’re sincerely looking for marriage advice for newly married couples, I hope you’ll consider what I’m suggesting.
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