Allen Berger, Ph.D.
What if we feel jealous about friendships which don’t include us? What if we feel jealous about our mate’s friendships? If your spouse is struggling with one of your friendships, what I’d encourage you to do is find out why and talk with your partner about what is it about the relationship that bothers them. Now, maybe they just feel excluded. A quick fix for that one is to then invite your spouse along. If your spouse becomes a part of it, they may feel more comfortable with you having time with that person separately from them. But, if friendship is a separate part of your relationship and your spouse is not connected to that, then that lack of information about it can lead them to fantasize a lot.
I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but I’ve heard this many times: my brain is a scary place for me to go into alone. Our minds and our fantasies can take us into some scary places. The more information I have about what is going on, the less that I fantasize about what’s going on. So you can help your partner a lot including them, making them a part of that part of your life. That’s a choice that you can make to help things go more smoothly. Because, when you choose to do that, then you’re embracing the relationship, and you’re still holding on to your individuality.
Relationship Advice Bullet Points
- Do not give your partner an ultimatum.
- Seek to improve your relationship first working to improve yourself.
- Don’t be afraid to consider your deepest fears
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