Jennifer Johnston Jones, Ph.D.

Disagree in front of children

How should parents disagree in front of children?  Let me just say I think the number one mistake that parents make is assuming that you shouldn’t talk at all or have any disagreements whatsoever in front of your children. This creates an atmosphere of in-authenticity, which is the worst thing you could do. The, really, the best thing you could do is talk about it even when the children are young. It’s fully appropriate. You need to learn age appropriate and really a way of communicating and disagree in front of children with your spouse that is compassionate and, of course, not aggressive. But if you can manage to do that, simply look at your spouse and say, can we talk about this later or this sound like something that mommy and daddy will talk about privately.

And instead of not saying anything and becoming resentful because if the children become confused, why is mommy or daddy upset, what’s going on. They tend to attribute to them because they are so entirely egocentric and, of course, there are certain ages egocentric than others, young childhood in a teenage years, but all truth they’re not egocentric. It’s a survival mechanism and it’s biologically very necessary as per their development. So regardless, anything that you appear to be stressed out about, they’re going to think it’s about them. So openly express it to your spouse. We really need to talk about this privately or, well, I know that daddy, you think one thing and I think another thing. Well have a talk about it later.

Don’t be afraid to truly talk and disagree, to resolve conflict about things and disagree in front of children. It’s always appropriate. Too many things are done behind closed doors. There’s very few things that children cannot hear.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)

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