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Daniel Linder, MFT

Too much porn

How much is too much porn?  I understand that porn is a huge industry and that there are a lot of people out there that enjoy porn. A lot of couples use it to stimulate their sex lives and create excitement, and it can work and does work for a number of people. However, when there’s a backlog of pain and hunger and unmet emotional needs, a person can become at risk for getting involved with pornography in an addictive way.

Porn addiction is a relationship with imaginary others, images. What a porn addict does is use images to stimulate excitement. These images are very emotionally charged and the addict uses their imagination to create the dialogue, the setting, and the situation. They can create it just the way they want it. Whatever they’re needing, whatever they’re missing, they can weave their imagination into scenes and dialogue so they can feel that, in a way, they’re getting all the love that they missed. While they’re aroused, while they’re masturbating, it feels real. What ends up happening is that they develop relationships with imaginary others. They then become limited and are only capable of relating to imaginary others.

But with real people, they can’t predict how they’re going respond; they can’t control how they’re going to respond; they’re not able to direct and create the whole scene with them. All of a sudden, they don’t have the controls; they’re much more vulnerable, and it’s overwhelming. So they avoid real relationships altogether. What happens with porn addiction is that it makes real intimacy, emotional intimacy, impossible. A porn addict become increasingly isolated as their world becomes increasingly more revolved around images and pornography.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)

 

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