Allen Berger, Ph.D.
New parent stress
In this Twoology video, relationship expert, Allen Berger, Ph.D., urges couples to recognize the signs of new-parent stress and offers tips on how to deal with parenting and relationship stress. Work together to help each other through the stress. Take comfort in the fact that this stress is only temporary. Learn to balance the stress in your life together, work to reconnect and maintain intimacy and you will make it through it.
How do you deal with new-parent stress? Oftentimes, when a newly married couple has a child, they add a child to their family. Because I always say that children don’t make a family, they just enlarge it. So they don’t make it.
Now, your first child comes along. And when you have a second child, and this is true whenever you add or subtract someone to a family, the family undergoes a period of adjustment. It also undergoes stress.
Even before the first child comes, when you have to deal with your in-laws, that’s often a period of challenge and stress. That’s why that marriage becomes such a challenge with all the stress that’s going on because you’re adding all these other people to your life.
Now, the question becomes, are you going be stressed? Yes, you are. The first child is going be stressful. There’s a lot of anxiety that a new mother has about “Am I being a good mother?” And what we know is your mothering is wired deep within you. There’s an organismic wisdom inside of you that, if you get out of the way, if you don’t let your anxiety run the show, you’re going to know how to respond and what to do. However, your anxiety can block that.
So the whole issue becomes how do you manage your anxiety and deal with it? Well, the first thing is to stay grounded. You know, just stay really grounded with yourself. Try some deep breathing. I’m certain that there are some other resources in this site that can help you to learn how to manage your anxiety. Check those out.
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