Joseph Hernandez, Ph.D. and Ana Morante, L.M.F.T.
Overcome trust issues
In this Twoology video, Latino relationship experts, Joseph Hernandez, Ph.D. and Ana Morante, L.M.F.T., explain how to rebuild broken trust and overcome the trust issues you have. Be willing to open up, be vulnerable and trust. The key to regaining and rebuilding trust is allowing that vulnerability to trust again and again.
How do we overcome your trust issues? The very first thing that happens we do when we have been hurt is, we cover up, and we protect ourselves. And often we walk into relationships like this, where we tried to be intimate, we tried to hug one another. But, overcoming trust issues is very hard when we are protecting ourselves.
And so what has to happen to rebuild trust is we have to take a risk. And, the risk is that we open up, because if we open up, we could get kicked again in the stomach or below, and so often we don’t risk. If we don’t risk being vulnerable, we will not ever be able to be in a good, healthy, intimate relationship. So no matter what has happened in our past, we have to able to learn from it and then practice forgiveness, in order to begin to trust again and overcome trust issues. And this allows us to be able to engage in the most intimate of relationships possible.
Now the trust is not only going to be built on what the other person is doing, trust is also what I’m willing to risk. Because bottom line, we know that whether we want it or not, we’re going to hurt each other in relationships. Whether it be through infidelities or through many other ways, we’re constantly going to hurt each other.
What’s important here is am whether I am willing to open up, be vulnerable and trust, knowing that whatever the other person does most likely is not meant to hurt me; most likely it’s done because that’s the best that this person could have done at that moment. So when I’m willing to open up again and trust — and truly overcome trust issues — then, I know that I have the skills to protect myself if I don’t see a change in behavior.
I want to point out that trust could be also very personal and my own ability to trust in myself and to try to trust in the ability that I have to protect myself if I see that there’s more danger. Or, to open up myself, be forgiving and trusting when I see that there is enough room for the other person to have a change in behavior.
Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)