Jim Hallowes, B.S.
Different emotional styles
How do we cope with different emotional styles? How do you communicate when you are very different? The key to it seems to be understanding and working with your emotional differences instead of fighting about your incompatibilities. It would be convenient if everybody’s personality or temperament was the same. Unfortunately it is not and one of the things is when you understand that a highly sensitive person’s spouse may need alone time. They get overwhelmed so they may not have enough input.
I was married to a highly sensitive person and like towards the end of a movie, she get up and walk away and I may able to say was what is wrong? And I would follow her and that would sometimes escalate into an argument. So the idea is to understand that they have this inherited trait of high sensitivity and they make it overwhelmed. It is almost like the straw that breaks the camel’s back and it maybe cumulative. It may be something that happened at breakfast or during work or something and it can get where they have had enough and so if a highly sensitive spouse wants to get up and leave, do not go after them and try to get them to explain why they did not stay to the end of the movie.
Accept that that is part of their temperament. You have different emotional styles, different communication styles of handling conflict. Accept these differences rather than fighting them. Learn to work with these emotional differences. If you partner needs time alone, let them have time alone.
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