Allen Berger, Ph.D.
Spouse needs relationship help
Do you feel, think or know that your spouse needs professional relationship help? If you’re wondering about how to inspire your spouse to join you to get some help for your relationship, there are a lot of different strategies. A lot of different books speak to this issue. In my book, Love Secrets Revealed, I speak to this issue. There are some great videos.
Let me say a few things to you about it right now. The most important thing is how you approach that person. If I go to you and say something like this: “Now, just put yourself in my shoes. You’re my partner, and I need to talk to you about our relationship and going to relationship coaching, counseling, or whatever it is that will help us. I don’t like how you’re doing this, and I want us to go talk to somebody.” Approaching it that way will, all of a sudden, put them on the defensive. They’re going to think that the therapy is about me going in and getting somebody to agree with me about how rotten they are. And is anybody going to want to do that? I hope not. If they did, then I’m more concerned about them.
So the issue is how do I approach you? See, it’s our approach that becomes so important. So, if I said to you, “Look, I’m struggling with a few things, and I need your help.” Instead of me saying, “I need you to get better. I need your help. Will you please help me with this? Will you come in so that the counselor can get some information from you about what’s going on and how you experience me? If you can help me in that way, I’d very much appreciate it.” If you approach things that way, you’re going to see more positive results.
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