Allen Berger, Ph.D.
Social media addiction in relationship
In this Twoology video, relationship expert, Allen Berger, Ph.D., tells couples how to address, manage and handle your concerns about addiction to online social media. If you are concerned about the amount of time your partner is spending online on social networking sites, talk to them about it, but own your own anxiety. Don’t force it as their problem, but rather as your own problem that you want help resolving.
How do I handle social media addiction? If you are asking yourself, what’s going on? How come my partner is spending so much time on these social networking sites? The first thing that I hear in your question is that this is creating some anxiety for you.
Now, you got to look at that. What’s that anxiety about? Part of it may be this intuitive wisdom that you have that every relationship is fragile. You know, just because we’re committed to each other and we’ve gotten married, doesn’t mean that it’s forever. We’ve seen that so many times. Romantic relationships are the most fragile of all relationships. The bonds between a parent and their child are much stronger than between a husband and wife.
How do you manage your anxiety? Well, one way of looking at relationships is it’s going to give you an opportunity to really learn how to manage some anxiety because there’s going to be all kinds of things that can trigger that anxiety. So, if you’re having that, you need to get in touch with that first. And then start to pay attention.
How do you deal with your anxiety? I would suggest, once again, that you go and talk to your partner in a way where you own your anxiety. For example, you can say, “When you’re doing that, I’m starting to feel anxious. I don’t know if it means that you’re not interested in me, and maybe it does, maybe it’s a sign that something is wrong between us. If it is, I want to look at it with you, sweetie, because I really want this to be the best relationship.” So bring it to them, but bring it to them in a way that keeps you connected.
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