Mark Goulston, M.D.
Stop damaging relationship
Relationship expert, Mark Goulston, M.D., shares a valuable and effective way for you to help you get your anger under control, stop damaging your relationship. Fighting is a valuable way to resolve problems in the relationship. Learn a valuable and effective method to help you relate and resolve your fights without the anger. Relationships come with expectations.Twoology.com helps couples fulfill their desires.
How do I get my anger under control, stop damaging our relationship? Fighting with your spouse is not wrong. Getting abusive and verbally mean is. But differences of opinions and fights are inevitable. What is really discouraging, especially around the kids, is that it’s not that mom and dad fighting that bothers them. It’s that they never resolve something completely. So they keep fighting about the same things over and over again, and it’s very discouraging to listen to that. So it’s not so much fighting that’s bad; it’s fighting without resolution that causes damage.
One of the things that I said on the Oprah Winfrey show, which won her respect, which is really a gift to do, is this: When you’re in a fight and you’re talking from hate, keep talking from the hate until you’re talking from the hurt and the fear underneath. There’s always hurt and fear underneath anger. And, when you do that and you talk from the hurt and the fear, the other person is more likely to listen to you.
Fighting is a valuable way to resolve problems in the relationship. Fights must come to a resolution. If you keep feeling angry, repeating the same fight without resolving anything, you’ll just keep feeling angry, and fighting about the same things over and over again which is highly damaging to your relationship and to your children. Decide to follow Dr. Goulston’s method to help you relate and resolve your fights without the anger, reach resolution in a way that controls anger and instead reveals the hurt and fear.
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