Daniel Linder, MFT
How do I avoid sexual temptations and maintain self-control
The key factor when talking about acting responsibly in the face of desire is to understand that, when you get involved physically, when you cross a line from fantasy and excitement into behavior and physical contact, the relationship is going from a fantasy to a reality, and the consequences are going to be real. That’s one thing to be aware of that’s very, very important. You’re going from fantasy to reality, and the consequences are going to be different.
Oftentimes, the reality does not live up to the fantasy; it falls short. Sometimes, depending on how much pain and stress you’re in, the state of the relationship that you’re in is probably not very good. So, what you do when you have an affair is project onto the person you’re having an affair with everything that you’re missing in your relationship, everything that you’re wanting. The affair takes on a life of its own and becomes a sort of idealized relationship. But it’s an unreal relationship. It’s a relationship outside of the confines of reality. It’s the other relationship. It’s the other half of your life that holds everything that was missing.
Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)