Danielle Jagoda, MA, LMFT
People Pressuring You About Your Relationship
Relationship expert, Danielle Jagoda, MA, LMFT, recommends how to handle people pressuring you about your relationship status. Do not let other people make you move in your relationship faster than you want to go. Be gentle but firm in deflecting invasive questions. Respond good-naturedly to inquiries about your relationship, but also deflect the questions. Always remember that it’s the two of you who are in the relationship together; everyone else (family, friends, associates) are affected, but it’s really up to you what your values are; your priorities, and of course, your future. So, if you want to be in control, realize you also accept responsibility for the results of your actions.
I ask my young couples who do get a lot of outside pressure from people about what’s going on with their relationship: where are you guys? How can we handle people pressuring us about our relationship? Are you getting married? I mean, you guys have been together forever, what’s going on? I would encourage them to come up with a response that’s respectable, kind, gentle, but kind of telling someone, you know,this is our business, this is our decision to be had.
And you could say, “Gosh, you know, everybody seems so concerned and checking in on the status of our relationship, but we’re really not concerned. We’re really quite happy and content right now with where we’re at but thanks for being concerned and wanting to know. a little bit deeper. Look a little bit deeper, and see what’s really under the surface.
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