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Allen Berger, Ph.D.

New sexual practices into relationship

In this Twoology video, relationship expert, Allen Berger, Ph.D., says if one of you want to bring new sexual practices into your relationship, be willing to try new things, but stay true to yourself. If your partner is intially uncomfortable, don’t ask them to compromise their core values. Hopefully, they are willing to explore new practices outside the sexual box in your relationship.

How can we bring new sexual practices into our relationship?  When couples are struggling with the quality of their sex life, a lot of times, I’ll hear a guy say, “You know, I’d really like her to go down on me more, or I’ll hear a woman say I’d like my husband to go down on me more.” Both struggle with this. They really struggle with this whole issue around how to stay connected with each other in this way and still respect their own boundaries and their own sense of themselves.

Well, I don’t want you to do anything that would be a compromise of your integrity. So that’s the first thing. You are responsible to keep your integrity. It’s not your partner’s responsibility to keep your integrity. You’re responsible to draw the lines around what you want to and what you don’t want to do. At the same time, I would encourage you to take some risks. Open yourself up. Experiment.

Sometimes the ideas that you have about yourself and what you like may not be true. They might be just ideas that you’ve swallowed whole for one reason or another. Maybe it’s what you were told about what sex should or shouldn’t be when you were growing up Perhaps, religious ideas or a message you’ve received from your church or wherever influence what you think.

However, if you open yourself up to the possibilities, you may discover things about yourself that you don’t know about. And if you bring that attitude, that experimental attitude to your relationship, boy, that can go a long way in terms of having a great sex life.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)

 

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