Danielle Jagoda, MA, LMFT
Spouse to want to have sex
How can I get my spouse to want to have sex more often? For all you men out there this is a tip for you. I often hear you coming in and telling me, you know, that your wife or your girlfriend just hasn’t been in the mood to be intimate and it’s been a while since you guys have gotten frisky. So what I would like to tell you is that for a woman foreplay begins long before you’re in the bedroom. For a woman it’s often a lot about kind of the emotional connection and attachment she feels for her partner.
So here’s a little foreplay tip to get your spouse in the mood to want sex even before you get to the bedroom. It is about how to get your spouse to want to have sex….and, more sex. Start with the foreplay early in the day. Start a week in advance, two weeks in advance, if you need to. Start helping out with little items around the house with chores and if you have children, help out with the children, help with the homework, help make dinner. All these little things she’s gonna make note of in her head and, believe me, she’s going to like it and appreciate it and she’s going to start to feel a little more connected to you and feel appreciated and it really may lead to an increase in your sex life and more sex, better sex.
The other tip is look at the time that you’re initiating sex or wanting to be intimate with your partner. Maybe this isn’t a — you know, maybe a good time for you but maybe it’s not when she’s at her peak, you know. I often hear women telling me, oh, it’s ten o’clock at night and he comes into bed and I’m already kind of halfway asleep. I’ve been watching TV. I put the kids down and he’s wanting to have sex and, honestly, I’m exhausted, I have no interest.
So I’ve had couples tell me that they tried something new and different and, for example, I had a husband who he would drop the kids off at school in the morning and he’d come home for a half hour before we went to work and that’s kind of when his wife was at her sexual peak, feeling the most awake and alert, and so then that’s when they realized for both them they could have a great time being intimate and they noticed a change in their sex life. So those are some little tips for the men out there. It’s all about how to get your spouse to want to have sex (and enjoy it, of course!).
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