Mark Goulston, M.D.
Kids and new spouse to show more respect
In this Twoology video, relationship expert, Mark Goulston, M.D., to get your kids and new spouse to respect each other starts with knowing your expectations and communicating them to the new family unit. You need to be firm with your children and make them understand that you love your new spouse, and that if your children love you, they can show it making their new step-parent feel welcome in your home. It takes time for children to adjust to a step-parent. Relationships come with expectations.Twoology.com helps couples fulfill them.
How can I get my kids and new spouse to respect each other? How do you get your kids to respect a new stepparent? One of the things you need to say to your kids is that everybody in your life competes for time, but none of them competes for importance. This means that your children are the most important children that you have. Their stepparent, your new spouse, is the most important spouse that you have. The two of you are the most important people in the lives of your children.
So, what you need to do is to stand up to your children and say, “If you love me and you want to demonstrate to me that you love me, the way you will do that is to act in a way that causes my spouse, your new stepparent, to feel welcome in your life. Now, I’m going to speak with my spouse about the same thing.” Being able to do that, it empowers you to stand up to your kids. It sets the ground rules for the new blended family. And it starts the new relationship and family dynamic out with a strong foundation of mutual respect.
Discuss why respect is important to you and your views on respect. Communicate what you expect , what you will tolerate, and what is non-negotiable from your kids towards their step-parent. Share your expectations you have of your new spouse towards the kids. Set clear boundaries iwth consequences. Consistent follow through is the key to successful family blending. Succcessfully blending families, Having a respectful household takes commitment and attention. Disrespect by the adults and children leads to dysfunction.
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