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Allen Berger, Ph.D.

Transition to empty nesters

In this Twoology video, relationship expert, Allen Berger, Ph.D., says adjusting to becoming empty nesters is about seizing the opportunity to get to know each other again. It is likely that you and our spouse have grown apart as you raised children.

Whenever someone’s added or subtracted from a family, you’re going to have a challenge. One of the greatest challenges that every family faces is when that last child leaves.  The reason is that in our society we’ve become so child centered in our families that we put so much energy into that dynamic. And, that’s fine.  I’m not criticizing that.  I’m just making an observation.

We put so much energy into raising our children and focusing on our children that a lot of times what happens is that couples have lost touch with each other.  So, when that child leaves, now they’re strangers.  That’s a double edged sword. The bad part is you’re strangers.  The good part is you’re strangers.

There can be a lot of fun in discovering each again and discovering who each other is at that point in life.  Once again, a problem is never the problem.  The problem is how we respond to it.  So, when that person leaves, there’s an opportunity for you to reconnect and get to know each other.  So take advantage to that.

Adjusting to becoming empty nesters is about seizing the opportunity to get to know each other again. It is likely that you and our spouse have grown apart as you raised children. There can be a lot of fun in discovering each again and discovering who each other is at that point in life. Now that the kids are gone, take this opportunity to put more energy into your intimate relationship. Relationships come with expectations.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)

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