Daniel Linder, MFT

How does an affair affect marriage

My experience with people who have said or explored the possibility of having an affair as a way of improving a marriage or a relationship is that it didn’t really work out for them. It actually wrecked their relationship because they went into the affair out of desperation. It’s similar to having kids to improve your relationship. You think, “Our relationship isn’t working so if we became parents together, it would work better.

Some people might think that having an affair will ignite their passions and somehow enhance their relationship; the affair, in some way, will actually serve their relationship. But those people are misdirected and deluded and are probably out of touch with their motivations and their deeper longings and pains. That kind of thinking is more of a convenient rationalization and justification that really doesn’t hold up. When you peal the layers of the onion away, you would be able to see it more for what it really is. When your spouse tells you they were trying to make your relationship better and that they appreciate you in a way they never could before because now they have a basis of comparison, or whatever the motivation is, it doesn’t really pan out. It’s a cover up. It’s a cover up for some deeper issues that they’re not

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)


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