Jim Hallowes, B.S.

Highly sensitive spouse

How can I deal with my highly sensitive spouse?  What can you do when you and your spouse have trouble dealing with emotional issues?  The answer is about understanding the trait of high sensitivity, understanding that a highly sensitive person may need more alone time and may need to set healthier boundaries.  It’s the idea of keeping control of emotions.

What’s very interesting with highly sensitive people is that one of the key things is that they want to stay in control.  Ironically, highly sensitive people give over that control to their emotions quite a bit.  So, the ideas that need to be implemented are to stay on your logical side, not to get emotional, to work on setting healthy boundaries, to eat well, and to exercise.  All of those can keep you more balanced so that you can control your emotions.

I also suggest that when highly sensitive people start to feel that when they’re starting to get emotional is to leave.  Go to the restroom.  Very seldom will someone will follow you into the restroom, even your spouse.  Understand when you start to feel that little tinge of that, your emotions are starting to take the best of you.  You’re starting to lose control.  You’re starting to become emotional.  All of the sudden logic is thrown out the door.  You’re just totally gone.

Additionally, as the spouse, you have to understand that.  When someone goes emotional, give them their space.  Figure out what would make them more comfortable.  Maybe it’s a cup of tea or giving them their space to for the walk.  I think highly sensitive people, particularly, who really love nature, music, and animals, need to go and take a walk in the grass or sand to help ground a highly sensitive person and keep them from becoming too emotional.

Bullet Points

  • Highly sensitive people may need space and/or privacy to deal with their emotions.  Allow them to take this time.
  • Calendar a time to resume the discussion which inspired the emotional activity.
  • Do not allow issues to go unresolved.
  • Communicate proactively, not reactively.
  • Employ healthy coping skills to address difficult situations.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)


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