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Ana Morante, LMFT

Latina wives deal with cheating Latino husbands

In this Twoology video, Latino relationship expert, Ana Morante, LMFT, advises Latinas, how should they deal with Latino male infidelity. Fidelity in the Latino community is a delicate subject because, there are double standards for the Latino males. Socially, infidelity is often more permissible for a man than for a woman. Learn how to affair-proof your marriage.

As a Latina, how can I deal with Latino male infidelity?  Fidelity in the Latino community is a delicate subject, because, to a certain point, there are double standards for the Latino males. It’s not just sometimes understandable that they have affairs. In some circles, it’s even expected and encouraged. If you don’t have another one, you’re not much of a man. So that can create a big problem in the marriage.

For Latino women, it’s not as much expected. It’s even more condemned if they were to have another relationship. However, if the husbands are having an affair, of course, that’s going to impact the Latino women. There’s a lot of jealousy that can create a lot of conflict in marriages.

As a Latino woman,, in order to be able to go through those challenges and  deal with Latino male infidelity, what you need to do is bring it to the table and talk about it. Even if your culture expects it, even if all of your friends are doing it, is it something that you really want for your marriage?

In order to prevent that from happening, you need to stay connected. Talk with each other, not just about the kids, but especially about each other. Ask each other, “What do I need from you? What do you need from me? How can we really stay connected?” That way, when somebody else comes your way, you don’t have to be looking for that. You know that infidelity is going to hurt your relationship, talk about it.

Talk about your family’s history about that? In a lot of families, being with another woman is almost the norm, so talk about how that is going to impact your life, your decisions, and your relationship with your spouse. Keep your communication open. Talk to your husband. Talk to your wife. Listen to them.

I would encourage that you formulate an infidelity prevention plan that is going to keep you affair-proof. Sometimes you feel closer to your spouse and sometimes it’s like you’re not so much into them, right? So, I think that the plan should include, especially at those times when we don’t feel that connected, making some extra effort. Once a week or, if possible, even more, connect with each other and check in with each other.

My husband and I do that all the time. We get together every week, and then we just talk about things are going for us. We forget about the children. We prioritize the opportunity to find out how the other is feeling. If there is something that is bothering me about my husband or the other way around, that gives us an opportunity to address those issues. It gives us an opportunity to resolve issues before we even think about our relationship not working and going to look for somebody else.

At the same time, the fact that you don’t feel that connection doesn’t mean that you don’t want to commit to this relationship. Your plan should include a lot of communication, recognizing that that’s a normal stage in every relationship, and that you are not always going to be madly in love with each other. You need to know that your actions are going to be what’s going to keep your relationship healthy and alive.

By Twoology

Copyright – 2013-14 – Tunomi Unlimited Incorporated (Twoology)

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