ROMANTIC ACTIONS FOR CHRISTIAN SEXUAL FANTASIES
1. The Bible
Does the bible forbid Christian sexual fantasies? The bible has several prohibitions against specific sexual activities. The bible prohibits: adultery, incest, bestiality (Exodus 22:19) and also says no injury or degradation as these do not follow the biblical command for husbands to, “love their wives as their own bodies,” or for wives to, “respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-33) God favors sexuality and adventurous activities (Song of Songs) and tells us to treat one another with love and care. You have a right to expect sexual intimacy and if you want to play out sexual fantasies you need to discuss ( and not demand it). So, whatever the two of you agree to do in your bedroom, remember it should not rise to the level of what is considered sinful and should be done with respect and love. Be like Jesus in the bedroom, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2-3) So, if your fantasy request is not sinful, go ahead and discuss what you want with your mate. And, hopefully they will want to share it with you.
2. How we were raised
Those raised in Christian homes were often sent messages (overtly or covertly) that sex (including healthy sexual fantasy between you and your spouse) was anything but holy, pure, or natural? Were you forbidden to consider that Christian sexual fantasies are a natural part of a Christian marriage? As a result, we may experience guilt, shame, and inhibition (as Mary once did). These negative emotions aren’t beneficial to our sexual health, nor the health of our marriage.
3. Lusting in your heart
As Jimmy Carter put it, immoral sex is a sin, even if you are only thinking about it. “But I till you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28:) Other immoral sex acts found to be forbidden in the Bible include adultery, bestiality, rape, sex with a close blood relative, and same-sex relations.
4. God’s gift
Sex between a loving married couple is one of God’s gifts. And because of this Christian sexual fantasies is normal, ordinary and expected. If you are not breaking one of God’s rules about immoral sex, it’s thought that whatever married couples enjoy can be right with the Lord. Longing for your life mate is certainly condoned. “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him.” (Song of Songs 3:1) First, we are created by God as sexual beings, and arousal definitely begins in the brain. We simply can’t reach climax while mentally drafting our grocery list or even reciting our favorite Scripture passages. We must allow our brain to venture into sexy territory in order to experience orgasm—something God designed the human body to experience. (Yeah, God!)
5. Possible ungodly practices
In addition to possible immoral practices, it could follow that group sex, anything harmful to the body, and possible illegal or immodest acts like public sex, would not be Christ-like. We must recognize that Christian sexual fantasies may be unhealthy fantasies (especially about other people or deviant sexual acts) aren’t a roadmap toward future fulfillment. They’re more often a roadmap of our rocky past. Since it’s humanly impossible to experience overwhelming pain and overwhelming pleasure in the exact same moment, what does our brain do with negative emotions? It compartmentalizes our pain, fear, and anxiety long enough to experience the euphoric pleasure God intended. In fact, unhealthy sexual fantasies are simply the brain’s way of trying to heal itself from past pain or emotional trauma. So if you find the nature of your fantasies troubling, a counselor can help identify the reasons why your brain may be wandering in that direction. Such discoveries can be healing!
6. Fantasize about your spouse
Christian sexual fantasies include having and expecting that healthy sexual fantasies should help you envision and long for your spouse, not others. Desiring your mate is good and pure. Positive and healthy sexual fantasies about your spouse can help you enjoy marital sex and strengthen your bond.
6. Don’t deprive one another
God gave us sex so that we will procreate and also form a special bond between husband and wife. It’s certainly not sinful. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife for her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control.” (1 Corinthians 7: 3-5 )
7. Inviting an end to your marriage
Entertaining fantasies of an extramarital partner; comparing our spouse to a real or imaginary person and thinking of all the ways he doesn’t measure up; becoming disillusioned with real life because our fantasy life is so much more exciting — Are all examples of how fantasy can harm, rather than help.
Lighten up and have fun flaunting your seductive side. Practice in front of a mirror alone to boost your sexual confidence before you act our your sultry strip tease or sensual dance. Enjoy and strengthen your Christian sexual fantasies towards your spouse.
9. Role play
Role play can include costumes and accessories or the full costume. It’s fun to add a playful dimension and take on different roles from time to time. IF your mate wants you to dress up say yes. It doesn’t mean they are NOT satisfied with you just as you are. It’s just a way to ad more play and adventure into your sexual intimacy. According to the Bible, there should never be pain as part of sexual intimacy. We know from the Song of Songs, that tenderness is of utmost importance.
10. Get closer when you’re smart!
Practices of some of Christianity’s happiest marriages include: Christian sexual fantasies; Savoring thoughts of some of your best sexual moments together; Imagining how you may initiate sex next time; Becoming more spontaneous and generous in the marriage bed—these are thoughts which can certainly keep the home fires burning!
- Adult sex toys can be as common around your house as shoes: lickable (and tasty) berries, chocolate and wine; baby lotion oil; feathers; an Internet connection. Don’t deprive yourselves: visit an online and offline sexual toys retailer.
- Hot Christian sexual fantasies can help your Christian marriage be healthy, happy and long-lived! Sex is powerful, and can be used to cleave you closer than ever, or driver you further and more distantly apart. We must learn to channel our sexual thoughts in a direction that draws (and keeps) us closer toward our spouses, not away from them. Just as fire can be both useful and dangerous, so go our sexual fantasies. Expect that having an active and imaginative Christian sexual fantasies life is one of the best anti-affair practices you can do.
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